


Half of His Heart

by ArgentGale



Series: Trash Compactor [12]
Category: Star Wars: Thrawn - Timothy Zahn
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 01:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentGale/pseuds/ArgentGale
Summary: Eli reflects on how something he thought he wanted wasn’t what he wanted at all. Thrawn confesses he wants Eli to undertake a very important task.





	Half of His Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Thrawn x Eli - #66 for Anon

_Caff with cream blended with a clear mid-season sky._

  
Eli studied his fingers, twined in Thrawn’s. Like how their lives had become intertwined by a strange act of fate.

  
A supply officer. That was all he had ever wanted. Had strived for and trained for. The comforting familiarity of figures. Order. Predictability.

  
_And then…_

  
Then there was Thrawn with his own designs on Eli’s future. Seeing the potential that Eli had shoved down and ignored and refused to acknowledge.

  
He didn’t want to acknowledge it because deep down he felt he just wasn’t _worth_ it.

  
But Thrawn thought he was.

  
Thrawn brought Eli’s fingers to his lips, reverently kissing the fingertips.

  
“What are you thinking about?”

  
Thrawn’s voice snapped Eli from his reverie.

  
“Just…enjoying this is all. Trying to…remember it, you know?”

  
Truly Eli treasured these quiet, stolen moments when they could let down their guard with each other. Express how they felt without fear of reprisal.

  
“Remember?” Thrawn shifted slightly, draping his arm across Eli’s chest, twining a lock of Eli’s hair around a finger. He held Eli’s gaze, the crimson glow of his eyes flaring slightly.

  
“Yes. I want to remember these moments. Lock them away and keep them for when…we aren’t together.” Eli felt his face flush slightly.

  
A low laugh rumbled deep in Thrawn’s chest, shaking the bed slightly.

  
Eli forged on.

  
“Well…I mean there was one time that all I could think about was being a supply officer.”  
Thrawn laughed low. “And I ruined that for you?”

  
“N…no. No. You know how sometimes you think you want something? It feels right and perfect and then, well, something else comes along and you realize what you wanted wasn’t right for you at all?”

  
Thrawn nodded solemnly. “Yes. One’s path is never straight. There are many turns and detours. I believe each detour is a lesson and eventually guides you to where you are truly meant to be.”

  
Now it was turn for Eli to chuckle slightly. So like Thrawn to incorporate a lesson into pillow talk.

  
“And you realize that perhaps a supply officer wasn’t the path that best suited you?” Thrawn dipped his head and gently nuzzled at Eli’s neck, offering a playful nibble.

  
Eli sighed. “You saw in me something that I didn’t even see in myself, Thrawn.”

  
Thrawn shivered slightly upon hearing his name on Eli’s lips.

  
“The only thing I want is you.”

  
Thrawn stiffened slightly. “Ch'eo visahot <my darling>”, he began and then paused, as if overcome by emotion. “Do not say that. You deserve so much more.” Thrawn sat up abruptly and when he spoke again his voice was strained.

  
“Eli there is something I need to ask you. It is…very important to me. If you truly feel about me the way you say you do, you will give it serious consideration.”

  
Eli’s brow knitted in concern.

  
“Is…everything alright?”

  
Thrawn nodded.

  
Eli placed his hand over Thrawn’s.

  
“Go on then. What is it?”

  
Thrawn closed his eyes. He hadn’t planned on asking Eli under these circumstances but now it was too late to call back his words.

  
“You know everything I do, truly, is for my people. I serve the Empire and you must know that I share half of my heart with my people.” Thrawn paused, clasping Eli’s hand tightly in his. “I want you to go to there on my behalf. I want you to go…to Csilla.”


End file.
